being real

This past week has been an amazing week. God has been revealing so much to me, and I pray that I can soak it all in and let it transform me from the inside out. God has placed some amazing people in my life who are so very real. Many of the people in my cohort, especially my small groups, are not afraid to share who they are and lay it all out on the table. I won't go into specifics, but they are such amazing people with amazing stories. My coworkers, my counselor, my fellow bloggers, and my best friends have such cool stories to share with the world. I was feeling left out when I first noticed this, but I realize that God has also given me an amazing story. God has filled me with a compassionate heart, now I need to translate the words of my heart so they overflow, because out of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). This is rather difficult for an introvert, but I'm working diligently on it. I want to show compassion, not just feel it.

I'd like to write my story down, but I'm afraid to share it. Mostly because I don't want to "reveal" too much about other people and how they have hurt me and ultimately shaped and saved me. The pain of my story is still so fresh, that I need to be in continual prayer about it in order that I can forgive and move completely away from the bitterness. I'm going to start putting it on paper, but I don't know if it will ever be appropriate to share (at least not on a public blog).

I am currently reading the Gospel of John for my New Testament class, and I'm trying to come at it from the perspective of someone who is not a Christian and doesn't know much about Christianity. It has opened my eyes to some cool revelations (including moving past thought-distortions).

I have two papers due next week for a minimum total of 15 pages, plus a 67 question take-home exam, and all my normal homework on top of that. I have a scholarship luncheon tomorrow and work on Saturday from 5-10, so I have very little time I can spend in the library which is where I need to be researching. I know that this is the week I need to be in prayer for two hours instead of one, but I admit that God is usually the first one to get cut when things get overly stressful (especially reading Scripture). I have a lot to be thankful for, though, and so I cannot help but rejoice in the Lord (Philippians 4:4).

Blessings,
-Ash