it's time for healing

On the way home from work, I got involved with a deep conversation with God. I was basically asking God for an answer as to why I have been faced with some of my current situations and as to why I wasn't reacting better to them. I've felt so defeated lately and I've been really hard on myself because of my inability to move on from things and just be happy with where I am. In a moment of clarity, God spoke to me through a song! I don't usually view worship songs as God speaking to me, I use them as a muse for my own worship but I've never really felt as though God was communicating to me through a song. God broke through my thoughts with...

It's time for healing.
It's time to move on.


Wow. Definitely a sign from above that all I'm going through has a greater purpose. God is using it to make me a better person and to ultimately be the person I am supposed to be. I'm not sure what this summer will bring, but I know that God will always be by my side. God will always be holding my hand when I'm not sure if I can walk through the double doors - or if I truly decide I don't need to walk through them! I know I'm speaking vaguely, but those who do know what I'm talking about do in fact know what I'm talking about :-P


In other news, Aaron moves out in 6 days :-( He is moving back to Ohio for work, Friday afternoon and I have to work at 3. I'm upset knowing I won't get to see him for a month. I'm really going to try to make it to see him for his 21st birthday, but I just don't know where I'll be in the semester. I know that God is going to use this to strengthen our relationship, but I hate doing the long-distance thing. Once you marry someone, you actually want to be a married couple! We're spending 4 months out of our first year of marriage apart, blah.



On a positive note, Holly is coming to visit in March :-D I cannot wait for our girls' "weekend"!!! I have missed her so much and I know we're going to have so much fun and it will definitely give me plenty of things to smile about!


I was very unproductive during my week at home, but I think that's okay. I have 2 books to read for next week and one of them is part of a group presentation. No one from my group has emailed anyone to discuss what we're going to do for our presentation which means one of two things 1) The group members all knew each other and has already met up and I have been excluded or 2) No one from the group has taken the initiative to be the group leader and I will be forced to organize this group. I'm in grad school and still required to participate in group activities that are graded! I'm not a fan at all.


I leave you with one final positive thought: I cannot wait to move back to Ohio and finally have a place to call home for more than a few months. I will get to officially change my last name, and be able to decorate a home. My fingers are also crossed that we can open our home to an adorable puppy :-) I have so much to look forward to, I just hope it is all I have dreamt it will be otherwise I will be disappointed as I already have been. Must think positively...


-Ashley