many trials

This beautiful wishbone necklace was made by the lovely Alana. I won the necklace from a giveaway hosted by Caroline. She has such an inspirational blog, I encourage you to check it out. If you are feeling feisty, you should definitely try her recipe for a brie & nutella sandwich (it's delicious!)

I think God is using 2010 as a year to really shape and mold me. I've had a few trials in the past, but nothing has compared to the labors of this year...and it is only March. I have barely survived 18 credits this quarter and I'm still uncertain if I passed one of my classes. All my fingers are crossed because I do not want to retake this class, but it is my own fault for not working harder.

As I mentioned previously, I was in a car accident at the end of January. I was completely fine but it was a very scary moment. I still have mini-anxiety attacks when I pass semi's now and I'm twice as paranoid when I switch lanes. Unfortunately driving long-distances (more than an hour) is something I have to do weekly, so there is no way around this! Despite the accident, we managed to come out on top with insurance and we found an awesome car in very little time.

Financially things have been okay, but there always seems to be something going on. We're currently contesting two bills that were turned into collections that should not have been. One is from unemployment (which, if you have been reading this blog for awhile, you will know my loathe of the unemployment system), and the other is from a hospital bill from two years ago that was paid in full and they are claiming it wasn't.

To top off this lovely year, I almost burned the apartment down yesterday. In all fairness there were no flames, but there was plenty of smoke and stinky burnt plastic. In my excitement to eat red beans and rice (my fav Haitian meal), I forgot to adjust the time for one serving compared to the usual four. Needless to say, the plastic container did not survive, but the microwave did. The whole place still smells like burnt plastic, but I'm working on getting rid of it. I ended up calling poison control because I had a terrible headache from the smoke and I wanted to be sure I didn't have a risk of poisoning myself. She assured me I was fine, and was very nice! I highly recommend calling them first before rushing to the emergency room (unless of course it is a real emergency). This makes me wish there was a *free* emergency hotline that could tell me if my symptoms are in fact an emergency (like a free doctor maybe...is that on the new health care plan?)

The final piece of this messy puzzle that is my life, is that Aaron and I are living apart. By the time we celebrate our 2nd anniversary in November, we will have spent half of our marriage apart. I am grumpy about this and I want to stomp my foot and throw a fit. I'm a mature adult now, and I suppose that isn't a proper response anymore. Instead, I suck it up and I pray for the weekends to come when I get to spend a few precious hours with him and I get to feel like we're a married couple.

My point in saying all this, is that I am overwhelmed. I know there is a purpose in all that I am going through, and part of it is from my own doing, but other things just don't make sense (like getting turned into collections for senseless reasons). Maybe I'm really unlucky? There are some days when I feel like Job, but then I feel guilty for even equating my situation to his. I haven't experienced any true loses right now, just things that aren't so fun. Everyone else seems to have such an easy life, even though I know this isn't true. There are days, though, that I wish I could be someone else without a care in the world.

:sigh:

My ramblings are over.

*end scene*