irony

I was looking over some old xanga entries (trying to kill time before the cafeteria opens up for dinner), and I came across one that was so very ironic. I'm not going to quote the whole thing, but the beginning will suffice:

"March 11, 2007: 1 year from now I will graduate from Mount Union and start the next chapter of my life. As excited as I am, I'm having a hard enough time getting through the day. Everywhere I look, everywhere I am I see them...I can't get the two of them out of my head. I still cry, I'm still angry, I still hurt. When will it stop? Will there come a point when I can look either of them in the face and smile? Will I be able to be happy for them or wish the best for them? Or will I always feel kicked down and lonely. I keep praying for the one thing that I know will take this all away, but I know that the more I pray and think about it, the longer I'm going to have to wait. I'm tired, scared, and frustarted beyond belief because nothing seems to be working out for me. I know this is God's plan, but it feels like my dreams don't matter anymore. I need to just trust God, but it's hard to let go of my dreams."

I know it isn't exactly 2 years later, but let me just share the irony. One year after I wrote that I entry I did in fact graduate and on that day Aaron and I decided to get married. God really does hear our prayers and they may not happen in the timing we want them to, but God answers them! This revelation has filled me with such peace and it has made me realize how much I have grown over the past two years. I am now able to smile and wish the two of them well. I'm not at 100%, but is anyone ever? I love my life. I love my husband and my family and my friends. I love the person God is shaping me to be.

Great things are on the horizon ;-)